Behind The Smile

It's been a month or two Since I've felt out of place I thought I'd feel better with you But I hide behind The smile on my face I feel my friends don't want me around Because of what I do and say They never express that feeling But I still believe they hate me either way Don't you underestimate The feelings I have felt today You might think I'm doing fine Believe me when I say I'm alright But behind the smile you'll find The chaos roaming in my mind All I want is to feel whole It's exhausting playing this role I thought I would be fine but now you know I'm starting to lose all control All I really do is lay around And find myself in constant doubt If I am a good person Now I'm completely freaking out How do people live With all their lies and all the pain Maybe I'm reading too much into the lines But the guilt grows more everyday Don't you underestimate Don't you understand I'm not okay You might think I'm doing fine Believe me when I say I'm alright But behind the smile you'll find The chaos roaming in my mind All I want is to feel whole It's exhausting playing this role I thought I would be fine but now you know I'm starting to lose all control My past decisions keep on haunting me Am I crazy? Do you hate me? I can't remember how to breathe I've lost sleep completely Can you save me? My past decisions keep on haunting me Am I crazy? Do you hate me? I can't remember how to breathe I've lost sleep completely Can you save me? My past decisions keep on haunting me Am I crazy? Do you hate me? I can't remember how to breathe I've lost sleep completely Please come save me (Please come save me) (Please come save me) You might think I'm doing fine Believe me when I say I'm alright But behind the smile you'll find The chaos roaming in my mind All I want is to feel whole It's exhausting playing this role I thought I would be fine but now you know I'm starting to lose all control You might think I'm doing fine Believe me when I say I'm alright But behind the smile you'll find The chaos roaming in my mind All I want is to feel whole It's exhausting playing this role I thought I would be fine but now you know I'm starting to lose all control