Swear to You

Lately I ain't believing in life But who would in my state of mind I ain't making sense But who would when I pay the price Think about the future but live in the past tense Music 'til my last breath Thought I told you I should say it twice Heart's broken but you don't know it Proves how sensitive I am But my ex she left it open, for you So much pain that I ain't showin' Who the f*ck am I to say that I'm the one with emotions And you, hurt me more than you think These words are my bottle so am I allowed to drink? My last girl gone quick, you'll miss her if you blink I want you forever write that shit in permanent ink Blatantly, I been depressed as f*ck In fact I put myself in this mood to make real music That's dedication never waiting my heart you see through it And if I die right now I swear to God I'll be a nuisance You, picked me up when I fell down Voices saying "keep it up and you're hellbound" So much pain in my life I don't know what to tell now One of you fuckers should kill me if I sellout, I Can barely sleep but I sleep too much Thinking about you makes me dream too much Disconnected, always needing a screen to touch Without our damn phones I swear to God we'd have a need for luck At this point, I put you in front of music Swear to God that wouldn't be, if only I could choose it I can, but I don't wanna admit it Opposite of trying to fit in The lies are a given That's what, the last one taught me Then she tried talking get the f*ck off me Responded so normal, I guess you caught me Make so little wanna work OT, oh please, oh me And now you're mine So happy you're happy, and so am I But I just want you to know that music comes first regardless of the place and time I know you won't hear this so why even create that line Remember back to that day Walked around town, wanna travel, a passion for the plane We were lovebirds, don't care what our parents say We would sit up on that hill nearly an hour late You looked into my heart, said "hand me that and I'll fix it" Don't wanna get hurt again, but to be with you then I'll risk it Gave me a shot to your heart, I swear to God I won't miss it Girl, you're a piece of art, so contrast and so different But is that a mask or your real face? So much shit in my mind I don't feel safe Is this life just a dream or the real place? Is this life just a dream or the real place? Yeah I swear to God I'll give you my all Just give me yours and I'll keep it When I try to stand up I fall Girl, I told you all of my secrets No fucking clue where your daddy went He said he wasn't believing And when I'm at the top I swear to God you're gonna meet him Sit him down in a chair, I got a bone to pick with your ass How you gonna leave a girl with no friends now no dad? She came outta you, but then you sold her fuckin soul back Is it too much to ask that this girl just wants her own dad? Now you got a new family, and you live somewhere across the country Who knows where you went But if only I could show you your family, would you even care for them? And I'll be fuckin damned if he, looks at them like they're pretend And I'm not sorry for this anger, that's just how pops raised me Well let's talk about you, you love me then you hate me Drunk once again you never cease to amaze me If you're just gonna leave, then why'd you fuckin make me Fucked up and fucked up numb to everything It's a crazy feeling, but I don't feel it, and it runs through your brain When somebody brings it up, like what the f*ck does that mean? I don't have feelings, always depressed can't be happy It's more literal than you think And I just wanna feel again You're helping me cope with it but this feeling feels real pretend My demons give me hope, and if they died then I would kneel for them And you act different when you're around them so I'll fear your friends? Whatever, keep doing it, more lyrics for me You're acting like my ex, didn't hear it from me Leaving you for another, you fear it from me Whole song just want you to hear it from me Took a tiny little mattress, put it in the back room Snuck you in through the back door with no hassle Purple marks on my chest and I keep your rack close Just please don't leave girl I swear you're my last hope I, got some problems with commitment I always stay true and committed But, I'm scared that you won't You say you wouldn't every time that I'm hitting your phone You see, your ex dude I guess he never cared for you Only a body you see he wasn't fair to you Whenever you need me, I swear I'll be there for you And that's something that I, swear to you