All The Things I Never Said

If I live to manipulate Why is it only around you? Who opened the floodgates to make me feel like I needed to? And I don't yell no more No, I just shut down 'Cuz I don't feel safe enough whenever you're around But I hold on 'cuz my world feels like it's upside down I can't just move on even if you're the one holding me down I'm not worth anything If I'm not giving I'm not worth anything, oh If there's nothing to take And it's taken every piece of me to sit here and say to you That I miss how it used to be When I didn't know better And I put myself second And I could set aside the things you'd say to me I've given up all hope I don't believe in antidotes But I still wonder if you'll be there when I say "I do" And every word I say is cruel Trust me, I hear it too But have you ever thought maybe I learned it from you? Oh, I feel like crying When I make anyone else feel hurt Oh, I'm such a monster Even if you're the one who hurt me first ('cuz you hurt me first) I'm not worth anything, oh If I'm not giving I'm not worth anything, oh If there's nothing to take And it's taken every piece of me to sit here and say to you That I miss how it used to be When I didn't know better And I put myself second And I could set aside the things you'd say to me But all the ink in every pen Every song in my garden Every bottle of medicine Will have your name in the end And no matter what changes unfurl No olives, doves, or pearls Can fix the damage on my nerves From trusting a soul gone bad I'm not worth anything If I'm not giving I'm not worth anything If there's nothing to take And it's taken every piece of me to sit here and say to you That I miss how it used to be When I didn't know better And I put myself second And I could set aside the things you'd say to me I should be able to trust you I shouldn't have these walls up around you We shouldn't have these issues But I don't know if I can forgive you No, I don't know how to forgive you