Overthink

All of my boys they got my back One of the bros he sleep with a strap So I can avoid anxiety cause any attack he protect himself But what about me? My mind race too much I panic too much so how Imma fight? I overthink too much even while writing this song Every time I bump into another man my mind says time to die Trauma from what my bro went through, the blood that he shed resides in me I don't even know how that happened, I'm more traumatized than he is I guess I really feel too much, I guess I can't stop the feeling But can you really blame me? Every time a loved one feels pain, oh my god it pains me Makes me think That I'm not really ready for the world that I live in Cause that's the type of shit people take advantage of and I'm just a vulnerable target, but maybe I'm just overthinking again I'm overthinking again, even while writing this song Public opinion fucks with my mind, it stops me from doing what I wanna do Stops me from doing what I wanna do It's hard to win when you're still learning to fight, but they gon judge me regardless Heartache when I'm not dreaming, getting stuck is so easy Always need something to keep me going Always need something to keep me pushing Motivation comes in different forms, but I've been searching across the globe and I don't know where to find it no more All these times that I've been on my own, on my own All my thoughts that have been running wild, running wild All these days that I've been counting down, counting down Never end and I'm just back to where I started All these times that I've been on my own, on my own Walk alone and I don't find a home, find a home All these times that I've been looking for someone's help It always just ends with me by myself again I need help all the time, but I don't like asking for handouts But maybe I should look at it different my friends would help if I asked them too I think of their faces when I'm struggling And how they would hate it if I ran away So what do I do? I run away No communication, I'm socially dead For a couple of months and then I'm back And what do they do? they welcome me back with open arms I'm always confused Cause how they gon love me, when I didn't love them enough to involve them with any decision of my life? Only concerned for my own well being And never stop to think of how they're feeling Do I hate what I do to them? Do I hate what I do to myself? Do I hate all the problems I manifest? And am I really as pure as I think? And does my heart really intend to do good? All of these questions, I wish that I could Stop overthinking it fucks up my mood I gotta realize that I'm doing me, yes I hate what I do to them, I hate what I do to myself I hate all the problems I manifest, I wish we could sit down and talk When I'm overwhelmed, but I don't want help A trait that I got from my father A weight I can't lift without being spotted But that all comes back to needing help again And that's not my style I haven't been taught how to seek out, professional help But without a doubt, I know that my mind is a gifted curse Been that way since birth, yes my mind is a gifted curse I know, I know you lost yourself Overthinking, overthinking killed your dreams Don't stop, don't stop trying to win Find yourself again, find yourself again