Empty Seats

Am I good enough? Am I built for the big stage? I can't pretend I ain't been phased When they overlook me, and claim I'm a rookie They're putting shackles on a cheap slave Don't disrespect all my intellect I've dropped my issues on the internet And I really wish that I didn't, and honestly I cannot ask them to give it back Thought I was good enough Thought I was hood enough Cause I was raised in the setting Of drug addiction, fucking up the vision of a young king Man my heart was missing For like 5 years during adolescence But I got it back And I slapped depression, through the face I don't wanna jinx it So I'll never tell you that I have dismissed it Cause sometimes it pops up when I am alone Sometimes it pops up when I'm on the phone Sometimes it pops up when I'm in my zone The root of my problems are inside my home I pick up my crown though, but I carry it Gripped to my palm though Got it stuck to my hand For the moment, I know that you'll find it so sad I do not deserve to wear that crown on my head With that being said, my self esteem low My hate is too high, I struggle to grow Anxiety comes and it fucks up my flow Though I fucked up the flow They still f*ck with the flow Everybody I know, prolly wants me to stay sad The tape's happy, so the tape's bad They don't want me to grow, but I get it They're used to sadness, and I understand that But... let me grow Let me know, if I'm doing this shit just for nothing Cause I've been at it, and there hardly is loving I swear my demons used to come in a dozen Then multiply until there's hundreds of dozens Was - never alone, was always surrounded Although if the room I was in was just empty There was a time that I just really would envy The people who got it together, and blowed up Cause there was a show nobody had showed up Except for Yvette and a friend, man it's magic But where were my homies, you know what? Forget it I'm tired already You know that I'm grinding, that's although my mind has been deadly Bet nobody knows this, but after that show I swear i went home, to the studio And sat there and teared up a little, I swear I ain't proud I'll wait for the day to say "Look At Me Now" Empty seats, but I got you as my crowd You'll show up forever, and you will be loud Enough to show me you love me That's why if one day I'm roaming the country And way beyond it, swear I'm taking you with me You make me feel like I can do this til 50 Way beyond it, telling my truth Staying honest, educating the youth Cause I've been as lost as the kids But I guess it's time to turn the losses to win So I... thought I'd be begin with a special announcement I'm dropping my merch with a CD I'm working hard and although nobody sees me, The aim was never to end up on the TV And brag about riches to millions of people The aim was to send us the message, we're equal With that being said, I would make it in life If I spend my days out here changing a life I'm changing my life, although I've been through it I do not care if you don't follow the movement Or if you don't fill up a seat up at my shows You honestly think this is it and I won't go a little further? Dawg don't be too certain "He's gonna die out when his mental state worsens" You're probably hate when I spill out my guts I'll admit it, sometimes it's a little too much But I'm telling my truth, I do not ever sugarcoat Used to beg for somebody to save me But hey mama, look what my mind has just made me Like 1000 streams from my mind, shit is crazy Don't tell me I'm lazy Cause I'm working harder than most of these niggas you praise at the altar But I will admit, that it could play it smarter The ego ain't big anymore, it just altered A little bit Happiness is a prerequisite If you ain't contributing, you're probably erased You switched up your ways you thought I ain't phased I am I wake up and wish that I was asleep Hands on my chest, I can hardly breathe Before I get to start my day, there's a cloud in my way And the devil would start with me I got the heart of the legends I grew up to know But the past would make you drift apart from me I guess I'm fake, because I choose my artistry over the partying Shit, this is blasphemy I guess I'm tired of all the drama, put that on my mama Put that on my granny, and tell her I love her The day that you meet her in Hev' too I'll probably never get the chance to Tell her I loved the advice, cause I'll never see heaven I doubt I believe it exists I used to spend all my nights cleaning my wrists, from blood Now I got the cleanest of wrists I've got the cleanest of