Lesson Learned

Had a lot of stress, had a lot of pain Always second guessing hoping it was gonna change Couldn’t talk to anyone about my situation Anxiety was choking me in every conversation Back in September, I was in a awful Place in my mind I was close to a debacle Finally the twenty first a Friday had to change me Nearly in a hearse then a nurse came to wake me She told me I overdosed I did out of suicide You don’t understand the depression had me traumatized I wanted to escape, run from the demons That grabbed me and choked me whenever I was breathing Then they had to drive over to a mental hospital Couldn’t speak when all of this occurred I was inaudible I never had the time to explain the truth Give the people my perspective and my point of view 4 months later i’m finishing a project Using the piano keys, giving you the context Really this is therapy, as i’m learning lessons Let me take you back to the height of my depression I was with a so called friend We would always smoke all the money I would spend Going through some things at the time didn’t know Why did everybody think of me as a joke? Back to the night had a bottle in my room I would down it quick to get rid of the gloom He wanted to smoke so we went to his car Anxiety was choking me right from the start As we lit a spark felt a panic in my mind I was freaking out going on a decline Felt a lot of pressure from the fam to be great Even though my father was the man I’d emulate I know he’s addicted he loves to escape I did so the same it was such a mistake Back to the friend he had left and disappeared So I took a Xanax to remove all my fears Suddenly the panic and the pressure went to cave I called everybody cause I needed to be saved Called everybody didn’t know what to say Stuttering and slurring as coherence went away First thing I learned how to cope Gotta talk to someone can’t go to the dope no Secondly I learned I’m an addict Addicted to attention so bad and it’s tragic Next thing I learned how to love myself How to not put anything above myself These are all the lessons that I had to learn Every second is a blessing and it must be earned Rollin’ into Kettering I looked like I was dead But I knew it’s time to make a better me instead I was so confused and shocked by the events The night was so intense all I wanted was a bed So I could go to sleep but they needed my attention “Was your overdose a suicidal intention?” Suicide is something I’ve always rejected It is not the answer to my clinical depression Finally they let me go to sleep but Every 15 minutes they would open the door Took away all my possessions see If hell was a place it’s in a psychiatric ward Sucks that my family saw me at my lowest I couldn’t just beat and defeat this opponent Changing my ways and i’m switching my focus A breath everyday since that hell is a bonus First thing I learned how to cope Gotta talk to someone can’t go to the dope no Secondly I learned I’m an addict Addicted to attention so bad and it’s tragic Next thing I learned how to love myself How to not put anything above myself These are just the lessons that I had to learn Every second is a blessing and it must be earned