Self Medicated (feat. Anika Capetillo)

Difficult to understand why I really overdosed Currently, don’t have all the reasons but i’m coming close Felt so much uncertainty, couldn’t get away from it Demons here eternally, everyday I hated it I told the doctors that it wasn’t out of suicide Wanted to escape the pain that made me scarred and traumatized All of the rejection from wanting your attention I just wanted someone in my life I could connect with All my imperfections gave me a perception I had to be perfect every day and every second I became obsessed with results and achievements When they weren’t possessed I would have some disagreements I was always worried how the people would perceive me Look into the mirror just to see if I was breathing Plenty blemishes and imperfections in my life They would keep me up at night, it’s when I said alright Mentally I was going insane Everyday life was a hurricane Comfort came when I self medicated Substances would take away the pain Another reason why is i’m addicted to attention Craving validation cause I had so many questions People couldn’t answer anxiety’s a cancer Eats away coherence turns your mind to a disaster Really put a purpose on impressing individuals Didn’t even care that all my methods were so cynical Wanted the respect of friends in person on the internet I would try to gain it quick by giving into their demands Caught up in the bad lands didn’t have a comrade Me myself and I beside my demons it was unplanned Didn’t care what anybody thought at the time I just needed reconfiguration of my mind And I needed to evade and run away from everything I really thought the drugs would give me all the better things A sense of euphoria, permanent elation It was temporary I continued medicating went to Mentally I was going insane Everyday life was a hurricane Comfort came when I self medicated Substances would take away the pain Now I have the coping mechanisms use em everyday Talking to my doctors and they’re listening to what I say I don’t trust myself with isolation and depression So I talk to someone and that person is a blessing Now I have the coping mechanisms use em every night Taking my Effexors and they really make me feel alright I don’t feel the pressure and the mental pain I used to Really overcame it all I tightened up the loose screw Mentally I was going insane Everyday life was a hurricane Comfort came when I self medicated Substances would take away the pain