Had to See

I wonder when it's gonna end, I ain't running to a friend when it gets tough Really need to hic up, lump inside my throat it won't go down I'm breathing through a different pathway Life passing me by I'm looking at all of my class mates Out there all just living glowing children growing losing grip I try to tune in listen focus But I got these monsters yelling inside my ear like it's a well that their friend fell down Every cell is feeling like a jail cell I'm tryna reach my skinny wrists between the bars of them And tell myself I'm lucky to be this place that the stars are in But sometimes it feels like I am so far from them it's taunting me I wanna taste I wanna touch but gravity is on to me each time that I come up with a new plan or a strategy Wonder how I got here sometimes when I am imagining I see myself inside a different form of life looking at this place and dove into its colors like I had to see I don't wanna loop no more I don't wanna wake up I don't wanna have to poop no more This shits weird Eating food Breathing air Defeating moods People claim to love you but that's not fair Cuz they don't know what love is I know what love is I brought my heart inside of the wrong space and time What is this love stuff and these sensations I can't see nobody they're in faces All I can sees my own reflection it deceives me into seeing a connection Always leads me to another bridge I'm forced to go up in flames with The water down beneath is parasitic Go to the doctor he says they're a figment All of my family has been scared religious It's been 3 years since I been there for Christmas And I won't be there for this one or the next one all what my nightmares equipped with Has got me feeling I'mma never wake up The more I grow the smaller that I feel forever stay shut Cuz all my openings are soldered sealed with memories What will happen when I slip where will I go who will I be And what will I do then what will I know will I remember me? I don't wanna loop no more I don't wanna wake up I don't wanna have to poop no more This shits weird Eating food Breathing air Defeating moods People claim to love you but that's not fair Cuz they don't know what love is I know what love is I brought my heart inside of the wrong space and time