Perfect

Show me how to be a man Cause I ain't perfect I did some fucking dirt, but I know that it was worth it And I probly don't deserve it, but I've put in so much work But the work just isn't working, still act like a jerk Still get lost in the thoughts of my own mind Couple more hours in the zone just to kill time We forgot to rewind, life on fast forward Like tryna fight a fucking bull with a glass sword Someone get the pastor Bring em back soon Cause I think I'm bout to snap give it back to em Sick of getting stabbed in the back, gonna crack soon Sick of always picking up the slack with a sad tune Sick of being stuck, out of luck in a rut I can't dig myself up out of here And no one gives a f*ck All Alone on my own, I wander with my thoughts I tear apart these threads of life and tie em all in knots Maybe I feel like crying Maybe it's something that you'll never know You'll never know Maybe I feel like dying Maybe it's something that you'll never know You'll never know I see it when I sleep Demons wrestle me in my dreams Searching for the secrets that I keep And they keep on telling me life is on repeat Nothing's ever gonna change, take a fucking seat Keep on pushing on Angry and in service I blackout when I'm nervous I live with all the hurt in the circus And I flirt with the thought that I just might have a purpose But I really don't deserve it And the truth is that I'm crying on the inside Angry on the surface I'm feeling kind of worthless The furthest thing from perfect And even though I'm hurting, I still continue working I can't kill these thoughts in my head that are lurking I can't wake up, I wish it was a dream Cause the thoughts of reality are harder than they seem In my mind do I know that I'll never be a winner? I can't escape this life cause I'm nothing but a sinner It's killing me man Man, it's killing me man Tearing down my walls, what the f*ck am I supposed to do? I'm shaking to the core and the anger's showing through I cannot even focus cause I feel so fucking blue Living the nightmare that follows from the sleep Breaking my bones to provide security What about respect or god damn loyalty? What about the love of the fucking family? What about the times? The hours and the days? The years have come and past, yet we threw them all away Lost inside a silent haze, growing distant in the maze The fact that anything is left leaves me standing here amazed Blaze up another one Go ahead, do it Burn my fucking life away before I go get through it Turn my back on everyone, I'm saying fucking screw it Pull that fucking trigger man I think that I should do it I am so mad I wanna fucking scream And break down everything I love and tear apart my dreams And I don't wanna socialize, I'm not that fucking social I shouldn't be in public you can see it in my fucking eyes Every night and day I tell myself it's just phase It don't seem to matter not a bit how much I pray Things just stay the fucking same I'm getting tired of the games Haunted by my demons they just will not seem to go away Nothing's gonna change, the voices keep on telling me I can see it perfectly, it's never gonna work for me Singing in my head, screaming so compellingly A melody of rage and confusion is developing