Covid Carols! (Christmas Parody Medley)

This year, Christmas music is a lie! It's the most god-awful time of the year (The most god-awful time of the year) With the kids not out sledding The virus that's spreading There's one thing that's clear (One thing's abundantly clear) It's the most god-awful time of the year Used to be wonderful Now it's just no fun Folks are still hosting parties And not feeling sorry When Grandma comes down with the COV (With the COV) Folks are kissing and shopping The droplets keep dropping It's worse than it was months ago Months ago On the first day of COVID, corona gave to me An uptick in my anxiety On the second day of COVID, corona gave to me Two coughing lungs And an uptick in my anxiety On the twelfth month of COVID, corona gave to me Twelve wipes a-wiping Eleven series bingeing Ten fingers scrubbing Nine uncles Zooming Eight breads a-baking Seven drinks a-guzzling Six hairs a-graying Five panicked Bings Four calming words Three scared friends Two coughing lungs And an uptick in my anxiety (Minor key) Mary did you know you're not paranoid For staying in isolation Mary did you know you're not paranoid Your fear could save the nation Did you know you're not paranoid For keeping safe inside (You're safe inside) This panic for the virus Is why you haven't died... yet Have yourself a scary COVID Christmas (Christmas) Let your lungs feel tight (Not breathing right) From now on your loved ones will stay out of sight Whoa, whoa, six feet away, please Through New year's you'll wish you were together (Together) But that's not allowed (What's that about?) Should have stayed at home instead of going out Shoulda stayed home-a No need to roam-a Now you got stuck with corona So have yourself a scary COVID Christmas now Hark! now Doctor Fauci speaks Hope it's only six more weeks Social distance is our task Why don't people wear a mask? If we'd heeded Tony's tune Could have beat this bug in June We just had to hang with friends Now we're at home 'til who knows when Hark! now Doctor Fauci speaks Hope that it's only six more weeks Where the hell's my sense of time? Every week feels like a year How is it not still July? When can I get out of here? Co-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-rona How slow can this day go? Co-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-rona How slow can this day... Ho ho ho Oh no! Here coughs Santa Claus, here coughs Santa Claus What's he doin' out here? (Shoulda stayed home) Vixen and Blitzen, we're all in danger He's gonna spread more than cheer (Spread the rona) Every kid'll get sick on Christmas That'd be a terrible sight (Terrible sight, yeah) So take him back to the North Pole above 'Cause Santa Claus coughs tonight It's alright because All I want for Christmas is a new vaccine A new vaccine, whee! a new vaccine Gee if we could only get a new vaccine Then I could save my failing business That got dark, super dark Wait a minute, when'd it get so dark It's the most god-awful time (Not a wonderful time) It's the most god-awful time (Christmas music is a lie) It's the most god-awful time Of this god-awful year The most terrible, horrible No good, very bad year Wear a mask!