Drowning

Gold walls that I built for you just to dig me out with silver spoons No, I didn't, see it coming, oh Gold walls that I'm stuck inside, I guess beauty sees what I can't find I didn't, no I didn't see it coming Well, I got your call, and I got your message I want you to know that you are the love of my life, the love of my life You never leave when the song is over, you ride or die till the end You're the love of my life, you're the love of my life, my life Can't escape my nightmare, can't get out of my suffering here Even if I recover well, but I'll never rehab as well As I fought the battle with a dark past, but I never kicked its ass Everything keeps haunting me, and I don't know if I'll make it past Life's a bitch, relationship, reminiscent about you and me Thoughts possessed so I drink and wanna smoke weed, till I feel better emotionally And I guess it's revenge for having a loose hold religiously So, help me God to get through another year Without having to fear of if I live another day here Stuck in my mind, but I won't give up And maybe I need to grow, blow up before I get my conscience And before I make the right decision Let me throw up my white flag, 'cause I will never surrender Till my family becomes a sacrificial lamb of what I love and a product of A crossfire against my enemies, oh please, I wanna make a living and a bag before I die Just so I can leave a legacy behind, for my life, for my kids and wife And even if I don't, at least I can say I tried, yeah Gold walls that I built for you just to dig me out with silver spoons No, I didn't, see it coming, oh Gold walls that I'm stuck inside, I guess beauty sees what I can't find I didn't, no I didn't see it coming Well, I got your call, and I got your message I want you to know that you are the love of my life, the love of my life You never leave when the song is over, you ride or die till the end You're the love of my life, you're the love of my life, my life So I found my purpose, and I found my mission Making rap a living, even if all I do is bitchin' About how bad my life is, but I'm so subconscious thinking That I thought so negatively, that I threw away my positives And on this life that I think so badly of, but I wasted The time and skills that I needed, to make it feel like paradise But I played Snake Eyes and rolled the dice And wasted my life like a cat with 9 Guys, I just noticed something If you're not used to living an optimistic life, then you're missing out on the good parts 'Cause if you ain't living in the moment of life, whatcha doing? Cruising? On a journey of life you'll never get again, Cause you only live one time, and that's my objective With every line and rhyme to make everyone feel purpose And I don't want to sound sappy on purpose When I reference this track with my others And it's so fucking sad when all you ever have was a good life But you have a mental illness Didn't think I deserved shit, but I earned it By working hard and overcame the odds of what I was bet against So one last time, just give me a chance Tryna work myself out this hole And make a new path in life So I can explain myself in a saga, trying to recapture the lightning in a bottle I'm back