Fatal Flaws (Spoken Word)

Lately I've been self-reflecting On my severe issues God please help me To rid of my demons I'm so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired And before I go to sleep At any sporadic moment The devil gets the best of my emotions I know I make light of issues Let me open up after I grab this tissue I remember when I was 15 Standing in the bathroom As I broke a simple promise And I, Never got rid of the past Because as we remodeled the bathroom The memories still stained After I seen myself in the mirror And I can't let go of the guy who stood here Because the memories still stain, and infect my brain And I don't know what to do to take them away I'm hoping I can just go to sleep and forget about all this pain Wake up, found dead When I was in High School I remember suicide, self harm was the epidemic But there was never a leader that was ever there to help this shit I fucking feel ashamed for what I did when I was younger I became a bully, slipped out, but fell down the hole of loneliness Every winter, fall, spring and summer But the good news is I'm not alone I'm at peace with my inner demons Telling me what's right, what's left, what's not here, and why not to rest in The cold blanket of darkness in the hole I wonder what my past friends expect from me after we all left a former shithole Moved on and I planned better but I became the failure I'm just hoping I can move past this pain And laugh at the past But my past just laughs at me So I pray and pray and pray For a miracle to never happen But I still love you, God I just don't know why you put me through this pain