Grow 'N Up (feat. Clari Bernaudo)

Yeah, see I just wanna sit here for a minute Reflecting on my past, future, living in the present I wish I had the words to talk about this process Drain my energy in music, spend it all into my projects So while I'm writing notes from my pen to the pad To my laptop notes tab, a feeling lurks me so bad Kinda a tear-jerk if I'm being truly honest Kinda lost my close friends, and while we on this topic I always give a shoutout but I had to resist And I pushed many away, mental issues are a bitch So I say it anyways through this one-take, Gone tomorrow, here today but I'll always be the Jake You love and the one kind of person you'd like to see Live successfully through the music I release Hope I can be the beacon to inspire so I'll always be Sitting right above this fire for you and me To get myself better Regardless of the weather: stormy days or sunny nights But we'll always be together, never give up, even if we never blow up I'm sure we'll always glow up, but we'll never have to show up I'm sure there'll be a day, where we can relax and chill But if that ain't today, I won't go back on pills And I say what I mean when I say I'm being ill But I'm back in therapy, to make me strong-willed 'Cause this last year until today or even since I started Word to Dr. Dre, 2 shots back dearly departed And I still have yet, for my music to be charted But I've been working still to, get to be the hardest I'm getting closer day by day, I'm sending this pain away I hope you can understand me, I am better, better today So no this ain't goodbye, it's a see you later So with that being said, it's farewell, you alligator Life has been so busy and I've been so inactive It's like spinning in a washer, but I don't know how it happened It all started with depression, then I started rapping And dream of me performing as the audience be clappin' That's unrealistic optimism, but I'm a pessimist So I guess you could say, I'm realistic in my projections Started from the bottom, bootstrapped my way to here Barely any money, just paid a buddy $20 to get a microphone that he used and that I started with But you see that's after "Sick & Twisted" with my turtle shit Did that on a headset and now this on a microphone Doing this music, I did it on my own, no, I did it with the fans, cause the support is how I thrive And it makes no difference if it's a one or a five, a ten or a hundred, a thousand or a million This is what it's like for an Iowa civilian? And to see this shit transform is reptilian See the snakes change colors but it's f*ck the chameleons And some of my teachers thought that I was brilliant but I never gave up, had to learn to be resilient Learned to adapt or else I would've perished, suicide was an option but that would've been nightmarish For my family and for me, life has been anyways But the struggles from last year up till now has been a daze Like waking up for coffee but the weed makes you so blazed It's like car in traffic on a rainy day But I'm living proof and I did get through it So if you need some motivation, just look to me 'cause you'll do great I don't mean so I can brag, I just think it so it's true Someone believed in me and now I'm doing it for you I'm getting closer day by day, I'm sending this pain away I hope you can understand me, I am better, better today The music is what saved me, but there's no way I can foresee If my future becomes brighter, I just want to believe The music is what saved me, but there's no way I can foresee If my future becomes brighter I just want to believe