Hopeless

There I go I'm in another mood Don't know how to get out of this hole That I put myself into I've been feeling hopeless Feel like no one can save me I feel like I'm better off if God would let me just hang me I've been under pressure lately Can't sleep Insomniating I can't even love Or else I'll destroy our relationship Everyone who hates me This is what they're praying for I used to think life was a prize But now who's dying for it I'm just wondering Why does God put me through my depression I get to meet a girl And then After a second Everything goes well Then breaks It falls apart Why do you give me love If you know it breaks my heart I remember I was 14 Breaking My life was folding I met an attractive girl who ended up making me depressive And then Toxic love spiral out of my control I had to go to therapy because illness took over my soul So take me to when I'm 15 Break up Shattered Tried to slit my wrists My heart is shaking My mama told me that self harm is worth no girl I don't know why you'd hurt yourself There's plenty other fish in the sea But it's hard to see when you've been drowning Then when I'm 16 I don't know how to handle the cell Life is like a living Hell But nobody can tell I put my faith in God And stroke I can't believe this I can barely see the miracles in life As you can see it I hit my 17's My attitude needs some adjusting I'm still stuck on the past So every day is just fucking Killing me inside Everyday I don't know why Why am I still stuck if it's not meant to be in my life? I can hear your voice I think I love you I can hear your voice I think I love you Nobody said life was easy It's not Cause they'd be lying I know we all go through struggles I just bitch in song About mine I think about suicide About every day and night I should probably get some help But I'll take a walk in your shoes If you're willing to walk in mine I've only attempted once Twice Shit maybe 3 times But I represent a dime for every time I be crying Dying to die Lying bout dying to die Shit maybe my life is just a big lie But before I go to hang myself I have an epiphany I begin to think it's not the world that has it in for me I start to have second thoughts Devil's advocate of types But then a voice tells me to strangle myself And I won't pull through but It's human nature Good versus evil And if I die from this then it was just the little people On my shoulder telling me what's right I'll die Go to sleep forever and happily rest in peace I lived a troubled life but things were just meant to be I think I love you