Hurdles (feat. TwentySevenGhost)

Sometimes it get hard, dealing with all this loss I try to keep going but honestly I am slowing It's hard to keep going 'cause no one really be knowing I'm trying to keep growing but part of me wanna die Sometimes it get hard, dealing with all this loss I try to keep going but honestly I am slowing It's hard to keep going 'cause no one really be knowing I'm trying to keep growing but part of me wanna die Nothing really special 'bout me, see that's the truth I lost my best friend to prison, they sentenced him You know they gave him 18, two-thirds a sentence, you get parole Since he been gone, see it's been hard to roll Off of my chest, I can't go cleaning out my closet Trapped in my room, I don't go out, no I've lost it Even though my son is alive, I feel I lost him Motherfuckers ratting on me, I never crossed 'em What the f*ck did I do to you, to take my loyalty and cross it Like ah shit, I'm back on my boss shit My loss made me nauseous, my loss made me cautious I got this, I'm free and I'm conscious You got this, you got this Sometimes it get hard, dealing with all this loss I try to keep going but honestly I am slowing It's hard to keep going 'cause no one really be knowing I'm trying to keep growing but part of me wanna die Sometimes it get hard, dealing with all this loss I try to keep going but honestly I am slowing It's hard to keep going 'cause no one really be knowing I'm trying to keep growing but part of me wanna die It's time to admit it, was it worth the shit? Every time I sacrificed but you couldn't You just freeze, choke up, any adversity you face? Yeah you get it stuck, still tryna sound tough A bonafide putz, lots of space to cut Grab the blades and make a rut Still covering scars with a superstar strut But in reality, ain't bad as it seems I worked my way up since 2019 And it's gotten worse, so for every verse I write like my life is in a hearse It's all on the line and I went to work And this brings me to my grandma's cancer My grandpa died not long after I'm brought here now, still need an answer I'll question God till I'm at my end, I'm reminiscing for every weekend Used to dread I cannot pretend, I miss those days I'll never get again So rest in peace to them, but not to the memories But they're looking down on me, still just doesn't make this shit easy