Tears

Yeah, see, I, don't know where I got off but The right or the left, all I know it's the wrong foot And you know, I, don't know how I lost my way All it took was a few years and then changes in a few days And here's to my grandma, my grandpa, and my family I dedicate this to you, cause this whole year has been calamity I wish that this whole process is just a fucked up fantasy, but now I know it isn't And we're fighting emotions frantically, so grandma, to you, your presence I've enjoyed You were there for me when my emotions was destroyed All because of Morgan and the talks we would avoid With the politics we'd speak, yeah, I know it'd be annoying But sincerely you formed me to the person I am today I'm trying to pray, keep you alive in some way And even if I can't, I'll always protect your legacy 'Cause if it wasn't for you, good memories may just be future dreams It's astonishing how, death can change someone's life, still grieving from my dog Still looking for purpose in mine, and just to be honest, I can't even fathom this It's a lot to process, so I gotta just move on But to my grandma, my grandpa, my parents and my brother This whole thing's been traumatic, not to be erratic But when my grandma called and she was, thinking she'd die It caused my world to shake, but God said that it's not time And as of this writing, you're about to get some chemo You've been pulling your hair out until you have zero And to be honest, I can't help but be scared Your confidence is everything, I don't want you to be there If it was up to me, I'd end the suffering If it's meant to be like this, I'm just glad you're not my enemy 'Cause I want this to end, resolve in a way with no death So I've been praying to God, today won't be your last breath So by the time I got to writing this, you sadly passed away on December 19th Your absence was a week before, what it could've been, your final nicest birthday But the more I think, my grandma passed, it was her way I relive as I speak it, you died holding my hand, I just couldn't believe it We were exchanging breaths, and my hand, yeah, you were squeezing it The picture of Jesus, that you also held, I had to keep it And to be honest and true, I know you can hear this But if we could talk one last time, let me make it clear, this isn't a lie, nor a fib, nor is it false But for a moment, I thought this downfall was my fault And if I had the chance, if we could have a do-over I'd have a deep talk when we were still talking, wait for this to clear But now I get to thinking, maybe it wouldn't have changed You beat this battle with cancer, I just wish you had stayed