Thoughts From The Underground 2

Yeah, back again TFTU part 2, so, I figured I'd update you guys on my life a little bit Turns out a lot of things have changed, or maybe nothing has Shit, I don't even know anymore So, I'ma do what I do best... I don't know how to start this shit off Became rebirthed, said I hate when I See my reflection, look in the mirror and I hate what I see And I also feel hurt, but gotta sustain my composure When push comes to blows or shoves almost get thrown Proportions overblown, unsafe on my throne I just hope that I don't explode As the piano gets cleaner, and my voice gets steeper, and my life gets steeper, my mental health is weaker Tryna be a soldier, but I'm covered under this boulder The years get shorter, but the days get colder And I never thought I'd get here, but defied all the odds Don't know how I escaped it, but they're starting to get even Don't want to be killed for mistakes in my past, so here's a message to all, even if it is my last But still, gotta sustain my composure Don't want the pressure for me to fold over I don't want to live, but don't want to die The only way to fix this situation is between you and I I don't even know, don't know where to go, don't know where to hide Gotta maintain this masculine, with this mask within, so nobody asks why And I'm safer not to cry, and I'll be closer to finally dying And I don't know how, how to proceed And I've been lost since my grandma had deceased Don't know how to breathe, don't know how to bleed 'Cause the razor is sharp, but I ain't willing to cut it deep And I lost my streak, I was five years clean, and I did it all in the process of one week So I'm having trouble being the strongest person for me My friends, my family too, went back to therapy It was long overdue, so it seemed kinda new And I wish that I could go back when I wrote blue The actions that I did, the words that I had said I would go back if I could and then undo Thoughts From The Underground