No One Knows

No one knows what goes on up inside my head There's a new kind of poison And it's starting to spread But I didn't think the antidote was in my hands I can change my plans I can change my plans Now lately I've been telling everybody that I'm fine But in reality, man, I'm losing my mother fucking mind I'm really starting to think I'm just some drunken mistake You know what I mean? Like my parents didn't want me in the first place Like they didn't want another baby, but they also didn't want an abortion Maybe he'll die or run away, even if we gotta force him These are just some things going through my brain No, I ain't crazy, hold up, baby, let me explain Like, ever since I was a kid, I ain't never felt no real love from them I mean, they cared for Whitney and Lindsey, but forgot about me You know, that tends to happen a lot from certain people I realized they was using me, and they wonder why I turned so evil Now, you're the one that caused this Stop calling my phone, talking nonsense I had to block the message Lately I've been stressing No one knows what goes on up inside my head There's a new kind of poison, and it's starting to spread But I didn't think the antidote was in my hands I can change my plans I can change my plans Remember those times, looking for a place to lay my head Thinking to myself, maybe I'm better off dead You ain't gotta pay for no funeral, get a backhoe and dig a hole Throw my body in that bitch and just forget me, shit, uh Finally my life is done, I was nothing but a bum Knee-deep in depression, so around me was no fun I just lost my job, I was so pissed Put a belt around my neck, blood dripping from my wrist But I woke up on the floor with a what-the-f*ck reaction Not fully awake, still trying to figure out what happened Lately I've been having a lot of thoughts about suicide No, I ain't scared no more, I'm ready to take my own life And I hope this time I really succeed I know this wasn't meant for me Nobody cares about me walking alone Lately I've been overdoing it with drugs, probably gonna OD But hey man, that's fine with me No one knows what goes on up inside my head There's a new kind of poison and it's starting to spread But I didn't think the antidote was in my hands I can change my plans I can change my plans I tried to find my reflection on the glass But all I ever saw were the things I lack All the smudges on the mirror made me go insane All I ever thought I was, was a mistake