The First Glimpse (Live)

I open the heavy front door Step out into our garden Just behind the big black gates And I find myself both Somewhere I have never been before And exactly where I have always been The sky looks new Permanently capturing 11:45 AM Sun rays through fog Hopeful and uncertain I have not seen this place before And yet when I squint, yes, I can tell I have It is hard to recognize after the past three years I have only seen what you wanted And what you wanted was a world cast in shadow Untrustworthy Disfigured Vile Because in such a world You would look holy But in this world Where spring does happen And you can talk to strangers Who do become good friends And wearing shorts and walking at night Are not valid reasons to attack someone You look like filth I walk through the big black gates Out onto the sidewalk And into the city I know now I must visit all the landmarks The bench I didn't think I would ever stand up from The Street where I walked away so fast Dropping your water bottle, your keys, everything you had A trail of you left behind me as I desperately tried to get away I did not The Staircase where A girl found me crying Asked me if I was okay Asked me how she could help Who I only smiled at because When bad things happen I only know to smile Because when you smile then Maybe then the bad things will go away faster I must go back to all these landmarks To see them for what they are In this perpetual morning light See what they are without you