Lesson One

It's hard sometimes trying to be a geezer A good bloke Five pints down the local pub Laughing at a filthy joke And sleeping around Just so that you can brag about it You've got to get the crumpet So you can blow your own trumpet And talking about football When you couldn't really give a fuck About Owen being injured And Watford's run of bad luck And cheering when a fight breaks out Even though you're feeling sick As a parrot But like a donkey to a carrot You can't help yourself Cos any sign of weakness Could be used to inflict injuries By one of your so-called friends To hide his own insecurities And nothing to look forward to But daily stress and bringing home the bacon And thinking about the other half of your wages The tax man keeps taking Staying strong emotionally When your soul is breaking And wondering when you're making love to your wife Is it real or is she faking And could it be that the most important things in life Are getting lost or missed When you're playing it safe