Closing

What is clarity written What is peace with a mission What a smile that I see Overjoyed that is given Where mistakes are forgiven I used to run up to the mountain where I thought I was free Where I thought I was safe Where my memories laid I remorse in the pain Rather suffer by myself and lay depressed in the rain I used to pray every day And dream about what Id say When I wake up in the fields And feel the grass where I lay I used to lie on my life Beat my dick till it hurts Drink until I was out Act a fool with my words Stay in bed till I smelled Ain’t take a bath in a week Ain’t got the time to get up I’d rather lay and pretend Like I was dead As if I wanted to I felt like job with all the issues that he battled too I’d read the Bible till my head was spinning cuz it’s true The verse I wrote and then be mad that I ain’t think it through But so my childish ways Ignoring what my conscious says and flick it off Was a wreck and played it off My goals I had I pushed them off Walked around the forest and the park alone to push it off Flew across the boundaries of my state to go and push it off F’d around Messed around Screamed a lot Ranting hella venting out my problems i was going through Almost lost my friends to all the bs that I put them through Rather lost my girlfriend to the lying that I put her through Almost lost my place to all the words and facts i didn’t do Almost lost myself and giving up on things I said I’d do Growing pains I’m working with I prayed to god to save the kid I prayed to god to save my life I’m thankful that I’m still alive But what’s the point of life without the trials I realize life is nothing but a test And having peace is something worthwhile And being clear is where you stay bless But I was too depressed Missing meetings suicidal I was in distress I used to buy out all the stores and make my friends impressed But now I walk for days in search of food and place to rest I used to speed around the corner flick the drivers off But now I walk for miles to work because my car is off The shedding tears I shrugged off The sympathy I shrugged off The carelessness of court dates The irs I shrugged off The credit bills I shrugged off The gas bill I shrugged off The car I knew I had to fix The discipline I shrugged off Comments from my dad that I’m a failure that I shrugged off I felt enough was enough I’m sick and tired of haters I’m sick and tired of talkers All you niggas be talking be talking folks out to death All you females be whining and put your man into debt All you niggas be caring about is only yourself I was bent on revenge but not a thought of myself But I was messing up And the people close to me knew I was messing up I hated life and wanted justice for the faulty one But then I realize that instead I am the faulty one But with the reasons that I have and all the issues that I face that I avoided all along I’ll try And won’t quit On myself On myself I got myself up in this world I got some stories I can tell I just need clarity beneath my feet I’m sorry for the demons that troubled me I got some pain I can not speak Tossing and turning in my sleep Still I pray wake on knees I’m fighting to be free If I disappear I hope you all remember me My life is truly a drag Most agreeing at large The world is dying away Most are fading away Most are killing themself To think it benefits them I apologize for promises I couldn’t make I apologize for ghosting when I’m in pain I apologize for lying on my girls name I apologize for sinning then project the blame I apologize for speaking on my homies name I think its safe to say my life will never be the same Always finding an option they all are falling apart This life is mentally draining it’s ends up hurting my heart I hope I find love The kinda love that makes you better and secure love I look around and ask do I even deserve love All my failures regardless I know deep inside that I’ll never give up on myself Never give up on myself Never give up on myself I got myself up in this world I got some stories I can tell I just need clarity beneath my feet I’m sorry for the demons that troubled me I got some pain I can not speak Tossing and turning in my sleep Still I pray wake on knees I’m fighting to be free To be free Im fighting To be free I got myself up in this world I got some stories I can tell I just need clarity beneath my feet I’m sorry for the demons that troubled me I got some pain I can not speak Tossing and turning in my sleep I pray on knees To be free Im fighting To be free As I look up and look around I see everybody tired, stressed, given up. And with it comes problems. Someone would rather escape it than solve it. Most would rather accept it as it is. It’s easier they say. It’s less stressful. What’s success, If you only reap all the benefits? What success, if you’re not happy doing what you love? That’s not success at all. Nah And as the sun rises in a world full of pain and sorrow Brings another chance to rise above it The journey begins again.