What Am I Waiting For

The bitter autumn winds brings back a past That speaks of beats that I used to blast On the streets where a movies chance fell down And landed on my stranded ass in hell town Now these visions of pain always echo the same But this time around they brought with them the shame That I might be in the circle once again And that my delusions are what funds my sane State of mind, did my time and I'm back for more Ain't no rehab to fix my damaged core I'm wired wrong, my silent song comes out jumbled The weekly supertask that leaves me crumbled Pieces of a man, shit I pick it up like Reggie Trynna stay slow and steady Either I snap on a beat, a homie or I bleed I'm still in it tho but my legs are weak I can't keep on standin' (Standin', standin') When everything I'm plannin' (Plannin', plannin) Keeps on fallin' (Fallin', fallin') What am I waitin' for why am I stallin' I can't keep on standin' (Standin', standin') When everything I'm plannin' (Plannin', plannin) Keeps on fallin' (Fallin', fallin') What am I waitin' for why am I stallin' Things are going good, why do I feel this way I got hoes in my phone but it's back to the same Train of thought I've had for my present memory If you know you know this unpleasant jeopardy The feelin' of fallin' and passin' every target The ceilin' was callin' and askin' for some scarlet Not this day but I fall prey to the red eyes Cuz what's true when you learned you've been fed lies All the happier moments just feels like betrayal And you yearn for a time when things were the same But they ain't never comin' back and I know that Hate to hear it but it's a cold fact So you bunker down and try to avoid any change Cuz it never gets better so just settle for your range That you know you can somewhat manage But it crumbles again because of your baggage I can't keep on standin' (Standin', standin') When everything I'm plannin' (Plannin', plannin) Keeps on fallin' (Fallin', fallin') What am I waitin' for why am I stallin' I can't keep on standin' (Standin', standin') When everything I'm plannin' (Plannin', plannin) Keeps on fallin' (Fallin', fallin') What am I waitin' for why am I stallin' Wake up, crack a can, cross the line in the sand It's man made anyway so who gives a damn It ain't about preservation it's mitigation It ain't self harm it's mental aviation Can't see myself when I look in the mirror Can't plan for this it just gets you nearer To the edge cuz you put it on yourself As a personal failin' instead of bad health And everything's connected in circuits For example I don't feel valued in my circles Since I ain't the best why would they opt for less It ain't true, but it causes stress Anxiety and all kinds of chest unrests All and all everyday's just another test So just keep on glowin'' even if feels like it's slowin' Time doesn't stop it just keeps on goin' I can't keep on standin' (Standin', standin') When everything I'm plannin' (Plannin', plannin) Keeps on fallin' (Fallin', fallin') What am I waitin' for why am I stallin' I can't keep on standin' (Standin', standin') When everything I'm plannin' (Plannin', plannin) Keeps on fallin' (Fallin', fallin') What am I waitin' for why am I stallin' I can't keep on standin' (Standin', standin') When everything I'm plannin' (Plannin', plannin) Keeps on fallin' (Fallin', fallin') What am I waitin' for why am I stallin' I can't keep on standin' (Standin', standin') When everything I'm plannin' (Plannin', plannin) Keeps on fallin' (Fallin', fallin') What am I waitin' for why am I stallin'