all the things i couldn't say

Maybe it's not what I'm use to Or what I want it to be I'm sorry All I need is a thought of you To make me fall in deep Oh I'm sorry But I can't keep doing this It's not you it's me, I just want to kiss Underneath moonlight Do we have time? But you live so far away I think I might just have to wait, baby I don't wanna leave so soon I'm scared that you'll move on in time for me to bloom The truth is, I'm jealous about your life Compared to mine it's almost disrespectful, out of spite But I don't wanna see you fail I wanna see you thrive, bail me out of hell My whole life, filled with fucked up lies I don't know how the hell to think without suicide And now I'm, crawling out Hoping that you'll be there for me to figure this out It's like a game for my mind, not paradise If I roll the two same dice, then I must die Russian Roulette nearly, but not physical It's like a mental warfare I'm sorry I can't be whole My words are slurring as time goes on My brains falling apart, can't wait to be done But how much longer must I wait? All I need is you... but you're too far away And I can't keep doing this It's not you it's me, I just want to kiss Underneath moonlight Do we have the time? But you live so far away I think I might just have to wait, baby I don't wanna leave so soon I'm scared that you'll move on in time for me to bloom