Healing

Back home, been lovely to see friends Pulled myself out of the deep end Hands off the wheel, left the steering Up to chance, I believed in A way to conquer my demons Just went out, started with breathing Now to feeling Starting to open up, bleeding Wounds I got many And most of them healed only semi I now know I covered up plenty But that shit resurfaces, I'm what a person is: heavy With thoughts and emotions, they sent me Away on a journey, I'm heading Towards only one goal: a better me And travelling feel like the remedy Back home, been lovely to see friends Pulled myself out of the deep end Hands off the wheel, left the steering Up to chance, I believed in A way to conquer my demons Just went out, started with breathing Now to feeling Starting to open up, bleeding This is my growing up season I'll start by showing love, begin To all my friends, to my family: Thank you for caring for me when I need it To all the people I'm meeting Those I met on my journey, exceeding All expectations I had of humanity: You all done handed me healing You all done handed me, feels like, everything You could spare, love was the enemy, now love's the remedy Met God on top of a mountain, expecting me To start believing, but I am still meddling With the idea of fate and what was meant to be I can just see me change into a better me Too bad it needed pain for me to ever see The way I need to change, f*ck the dependency I gotta learn how to love me Starting to learn to be on my own I had no choice, happened suddenly Did have a choice, didn't want it though I needed someone to cuddle me Needed someone to pretend that I wasn't self-centered But I know I was and was fucking dependent On everything that made me feel good, escape Any feelings Any real thoughts in my brain Lived in a bubble Created a fake paradise to cover up pain I'm really good at suppressing So much it took an explosion to teach me a lesson Looking back's really depressing Getting better though Back home, been lovely to see friends Pulled myself out of the deep end Hands off the wheel, left the steering Up to chance, I believed in A way to conquer my demons Just went out, started with breathing Now to feeling Starting to open up, bleeding This is my growing up season I'll start by showing love, begin To all my friends, to my family: Thank you for caring for me when I need it To all the people I'm meeting Those I met on my journey, exceeding All expectations I had of humanity: You all done handed me healing You all done handed me healing Pain taught a lesson to my brain Changed my direction, not the same Pain taught a lesson to my brain Changed my direction