apology letter

If I didn't know any better, I wouldn't think this an apology letter Clouds in the way, skies takin' over Sunny days seem to be givin' me the shoulder Live and we learn, screech and we burn Beautiful birds, seemingly stern Meant so much daily, so far away It's hard to keep going, I need to keep going Abominable build of anxiety lately Uncomfortable feelings, not feeling steady It's like I'm tight roping across the ravine Without any poles, without any team Suddenly the wind goes and it keeps going Blowing and blowing and blowing and blowing What do you do when your mind keeps flowing What do you do when you lose where you're going Cold rivers rush as water keeps running Downstream you go, upstream I'm peddling Countries at war, monotonous violence Storms to the ocean, sideways motion Why is it so hard to show emotion So far to run from verbal explosions No creativity, no exploration Viewing the world as exotic, patience Find me a friendship where I can see clearly Intentions and actions they align neatly Bring me a bottle, a message from the police Sitting there gently, 20-karat earrings Humble in the hot sun, a real thing of beauty I never thought I'd know love like this truly Judgment all around us, surrounded by envy Don't stress, let them waste their opportunities Tomato, tomato, new dialects spoken No invitations, confidence broken You know the feeling, two different persons One voice at home and another when you're breathing Living with masks on only to know that neither feels comfortable at all You want to take them off but you can't Fake your existence, it's obvious to witness that You're a person with talents and abilities Deep down frightened, hiding insecurities Folded in the top drawer, where you keep all your reasons Where nobody can find your deepest, darkest secrets Incredible features, tactical teachers Sporadic speeches, bringing back lessons learned So they assume, they assume great All the wrongs you did I'll forgive but won't forget