Memory Maze

I'm searching for a way through this memory maze One thought triggers then I'm lost for days Everything's hazy and it makes me feel like I'm in horror a movie The fog's always moving, crawling on the ground and surrounding every scene Am I losing my mind? Have I lost myself so now I'm trying to find who I am At my core before the trauma tore my soul apart And sliced and diced my open heart I keep on walking down this hallway in the dark Where pictures of my past encircle me like sharks Feeling hungry and ready to feed Til one of them decides it needs to be more closely inspected To see if I can figure out the reason for the wreckage and put it to bed and Make sure it's resting in peace I feel the past leaking through into the present Then the moment's washed away as the future's rivers rage I'm sucked through the frame into another game Except the stakes are real My mental health is on the line, and I'm grasping for steel resolve The fortitude to pick myself up after I fall Because I've fallen so far so many times That sometimes I think that it's the last one, that I'm done for good No way to climb out of this pit Because it's infinite, an abysmal ditch And I got no ladder and nothing to grip to pull myself up And then it starts to pour The water's flooding in and there's no escape door So I gotta stay calm, keep my cool Use my mind as a tool Wielding this weapon, I'll get the panic to stepping Remind myself that what has passed is gone Never coming back unless I flick the switch on And give it the power, which I will not allow in this final hour I feel the past leaking through into the present Then the moment's washed away as the future's rivers rage I'm gaining my strength back, no longer waiting I'm watching the traumas fading away from today And I'm grounding myself to this moment right here Killing the madness, destroying the fear Because the end is always near every second, minute Running, walking, standing, sitting, swimming to the bottom Getting drowned is not an option now I am never staying down I'm facing all my problems now Because once I admit them that's the first step to winning The second is sifting through the remains Of the pain that has made me who I am today Without adversity, without resistance I would still be the same little kid with unhealthy dependence And I'd say good riddance to reaching my dream of speaking these sentences So just one more time Let us cheers to the years that have polished our shine So when the past is leaking through into the present Don't push it away Let time's rivers rage