The Beauty Is Chaos

You say its crazy I think its lazy That we keep doing this shit all the time Back and forth while we slowly just die Every morning I wake up and look myself in the face Just corpses left rotting in the rain And our lifeless souls left in the dirt A graveyard filled deep with our worth I want to find out how to get back to who we were You just remind me of how much this hurts How can I fall in love with the look in your eyes When you're a stranger wearing the darkest diguise I don't know how to talk to you anymore Part of me believes you're a no good whore And the other part just wants to love you even more When you made your choice and walked out that door I found my way back to the fucking liquor store She's always there for me she never left Even though at the end of the night the evil's crept And I sit there on the bathroom floor and wept Kissing the lips of a bottle is what I faith I kept I'll have to pick up the pieces of us both left The next morning I get the dark reality check The anxiety building, crying in the shower reminding myself of how I failed But f*ck you for leaving me here all alone and how you just bailed I wasn't enough for you? You believed what your family said? I fucking loved you with everything you had Was it really so motherfucking bad? I gave you a roof over your head and a place to live I held the fucking love that we had over my fucking head And you left me in the rearview mirror left for dead And I really wish that more words had been said So you can feel the fucking pain that I feel And know that the love I had for you was real But it was just a fucking mountain for you to climb It's been eight fucking years and I thought after this time That I'd finally feel better and forget the scent of you But all I can smell when I wake up to the moment I fall asleep is your perfume And every nightmare that haunts me every night won't let me sleep I got a room full of monsters and I can't save anyone The doors weight is to heavy and I'm just waiting to be giving a chance But of course the fucking reality check I get when I try to get you And it's karma just laughing at me in the darkness This is what I get for being born This is what I get for being wrong This is what I get for thinking you were the one This is what I get The beauty is chaos The beauty is chaos