The Stray

Hold me like a bouquet bound to be thrown over your shoulder
 Spit my name out like a dog that needs to be put down
Dance in my light
 Dig your heels in my spine
 I'm upright now (Amour Propre)
To know you is to kneel.
A rest that wasn't real.
I'm up right now (Vive Ta Misere) 

But I know you And you need it bad.
Found your fix, but you can't quite grip it
 Control's a drug that you can't quit.
You're lost and losing it. 

Nothing feels right
 Apprehension
 Skin feels shrunken
too much tension
 When feet swing over the wall 
and heels dig into the earth
There will be no more running from ourselves.
The trailing haunt of malaise  there in the narrow gaze of the stray I became.

 I know you
And you need it bad
Found you fix but you can't quite grip it
 Control's the drug that you can't quit
 You're lost and losing it.

 I'll miss the pull
 of the prongs
 in my collar, 
and how that felt like someone cared
 to keep from what I wanted, me.
 We writhe from want and grow from need. 

But there'll be no-one to blame when I'm out of the way
 and the demon drowning well has dried.
 If having grip of the rein  is what you need to keep sane
Canter frenetic to a shallow, shameful grave. 

I don't believe in constellations even when my stars align. Luck is made with good intention, love and grace.