heartbeat

I feel better in my anger I can take it out on someone else And never feel a thing I want them to feel what I feel I've tried listening to my heartbeat but it just beats, beats And though it beats, I die Pieces of me lay dormant inside for so long That I don't know who I am anymore Or who I've become This anger lives in me and no one can take it away I've tried letting it go But it has traveled to every nerve in my body And always found its way home It's not something I'm proud of I never mean to be mean But as you get to know me You get to know it And it will destroy everything we have ever built It's the darkest hole in my core It has caused more hurt than it has helped It has been a part of me for so long That sometimes I even forget it exists As much as I love helping someone I love breaking them, understanding them Getting to know them for who they are And loving them for their flaws and imperfections I know no one will fully love me for mine I have hurt many who could And I will meet many who could have But my heart is empty and I search for no other than my happiness So this heart will beat, and at the end of it all Everyone will tell you how great I was But I'm here to tell you I wasn't perfect, I was human I loved and I hated, I destroyed and I created Until my last breath