IBS Warrior

I am first into the breach I am the sword against our enemies The pride of our family A beacon to humanity But my tummy hurts My tummy hurts so so bad I didn't even eat something weird I swear earlier I was fine! I take up my sword When I'm not indisposed From the bathroom I sing our battlecry I raze villages with the best Before I skip off for some bedrest Honestly earlier I was fine! I have felled dragons and beasts But none as foul as my seats And I am as brave as ten men maybe more I just wish my guts would uphold They have no sense of duty at all! I am first into the breach I am the sword against our enemies The pride of our family A beacon to humanity But my tummy hurts My tummy hurts so so bad I didn't even eat something weird I swear earlier I was fine! I take up my sword When I'm not indisposed From the bathroom I sing our battlecry I raze villages with the best Before I skip off for some bedrest Honestly earlier I was fine! They say I'm a hero For how quickly I slay my foes They don't know I'm rushing to get home Is this heartburn? Is this what heartburn feels like? My tummy hurts It hurts so bad But Gods willing I will make my ancestors proud And in Asgard My stomach will be calm