OLDER BROTHAS

I had always looked up to my brothers We ain't always have each other But damn they my role models Kennette always got good grades Kevin always looking cool While my demons going full throttle Always feeling like an outcast Eyelash, catching tears While I'm holding back the cynical Ideations cause' I was mad But I bounced back Now i'm just sitting here feeling criminal Wouldn't be rapping If it wasn't for you I cut class To write bars No attention to school Every verse you ever wrote Always had me in awe You're the reason that I'm writing this song I spent 16 years always sharing a room Playing Yu-Gi-Oh and gaming Best memories too Always had you there After momma beating my ass I'd do anything to cherish and savor the past Now I think I'm on my way to fucking catching the bag Don't know if it's worth it Can't see y'all a lot I've been sitting here missing Times back at the spot I don't really fucking know if i'm not Everything that I said i'd be Cause' music cant fucking pay for family I'm the youngest yet the loneliest But it feels like my fault so erroneous If only just Shit Didn't have to fucking be this way Momma saying spread your wings and fly away But now life gray Should've stayed I don't really want the sun-rays If this the price paid You don't get how much my heart weighs Keep in touch on a Friday Calm my brain But I'm not okay Cannot think straight Day to day But all I'm really fucking tryna say is I miss my older brothas Some of my Feelings never surface cause' I'm mortified And momma only ever wanna see me smile But I found a safe space between you guys Don't fear the ride Hugs at the airport While I'm getting ready starting Defending myself and kevin holding me Telling me everything's gon' be alright Seeing Kennette cry did not feel alright I felt bad But they knew I gotta live my life That's right Boarding pass in hand, let em know that i'll call when I land Listing off worry's in my head like an ampersand I'm scared to leave the homeland Don't know where my heads at But I'm stuck in the past Puff puff pass Try to forget but that shit won't last The forecast telling me that I should go back I don't know about that But man why not I hate the people not the place You'll be miserable, no not the case Stop the bullshit You know you miss the fam Everyday you fucking wake up you like damn Kevin call and I know you won't even pick it up? Stop tryna act tough it's enough Man I know you miss you're older brothas