Triumph & Exhaustion

I was scared that i'd kill myself But i won't do it now I kinda wanna see me do better than those who put me down I was raised where nameless bullets constantly flew around Was betrayed by the same ones who ask how i'm doing now Where the f*ck is sequan when i need him Now i don't need him All these suicidal thoughts i'll continue to beat them Can't let na na down by hearing i couldn't defeat them Sent stephanie's daughter messages knowing she wouldn't read em Most of my family just a waste of space I let my fans take their place If you ain't show up to my wedding Don't show up to my fucking wake Ashley wanted to kill me in my sleep Now i stay awake All the love i gave to have mistakes rubbed in my fucking face Raised in the nineties taught to fight and never run Got ptsd from some shit when i was young They jumped me Twenty four to one I knew help would never come Arguing with my big brother like Give me a motherfucking gun Everybody got guns now I never thought i'd see the day The clowns took over And they threw the real emcees away It's like life gets worse With every season that we pray Wonder who i would have been if marquis Never moved away Clout chasers thinking they're clever Seems they're coming together My timeline ain't gonna make none of you rap better I'm thirty seven the only competition is the younger me If you don't write your own raps don't ever stand in front of me I still don't have a kid That's why they wanna be sons to me Talk behind my back Shit hits the fan and then they run to me Who will i call when danger decides to come for me One man army i'm right where i wanna be The only woman i trust Has my name on her breast If you ain't built like that Then keep my name off your breath Same me never changed Three letters to rep Rhu until the day that i rest