Pain Behind Pride

Allow me to bare my soul Nothing's hidden as far as privacy The skeletons in my closet, they get in this car and ride with me You sway peers who f*ck with you to all think that you feel okay But shame, tears, and trust issues are all stains on your pillowcase Feelings bottled up, grab a bottle of white or Jack Daniels But after the liquor wears off, I'm right back in shambles Shit, hit the J the kush cloud above and nothing gets better All this shit really do is cloud a judgment My favorite aunt's been diagnosed with cancer in her breast And I be too sporadic when I'm answering her texts Vivid thoughts of this guy on the bus In a mask that jack my friend So I went and bought a gun to bust his ass if he come back again Running up in these hoes with no rain coat Can't maintain focus, I'd outrun Usain Bolt if we chase a skirt On that same note my main bro's on cocaine, so he's going insane Though, I can't do shit, but watch him and my idols in the same boat Shit With all this pain I hide As of late my hearts been at war with my mind With all this pain I Hide it all Hide it all behind pride You goin ruin you, dawg, you can't make history in no cell Look in this mirror, I see more in you than you do in yourself Stink went in when I was three, he still face time and I'm grown He don't even know what it is to use FaceTime on a iPhone This life is one big fucking fight, it's learn to box or end up in one The rent come, you punch a clock, then they take up a percent from Every check, so what they say you make ain't really your income You consider living as an unlawful sinner Your kids want chicken and waffle dinners You're scared, you're driven, it's awful in a world Where you can work eight hours a day And still stress over your next plate Meanwhile, some bitch from Cali just made mills all from a sex tape Now I got family and friends who portray me as selfish And shit that may be true But I used to pull air from my lungs to give to them So they'd be cool My stomach and back were to meet, they wouldn't feed me baby food How can they blame me? This how they made me They stand there stuck, surprised when I pull a knife out my back Wipe the blood off and I cut the ties With all this pain I hide As of late my hearts been at war with my mind With all this pain I Hide it all Hide it all behind pride Used to be ashamed when mama held the line up She used so many coupons There were a few moms in line behind us in a frenzy Coupled cute blondes And when we left the store, there wasn't a Bentley or a Yukon We rode the bus, but what I got older the truth dawned Mama made every sacrifice there was just to give me Jimmy Neutron toys I can't remember one night a panini was even lukewarm Society views you less equal if you own an affordable life So I dress lethal in these foam Sequoia nikes To impress people I don't even know or like This material shit I splurge, I buy If I live for your commendations Surely from your aversion I die, consoling so many souls As I hold so many loads, guess they suppose I'm this composed soldier who never folds As their tears soak straight to my shoulder I'm one of those who everyone vents to bout their lowest of lows Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes, that ain't even the tough route Just spend a minute in my head, that'll freak you the f*ck out With all this pain I hide As of late my hearts been at war with my mind With all this pain I Hide it all Hide it all behind pride