unfulfilled expectations

I haven't written any song this entire year I didn't like my voice I didn't like my style I couldn't stand the way I speak, I think, I walk, I feel Could I just disappear, or maybe simply die I carry on myself hopes which were given me I treasure all the words, remember every smile I made a statement that no matter what I will succeed But now I'm sitting here with my head down and my hands up So please, please, forget what I said I'm standing here, in fear, no longer myself Other's hopes and beliefs, which were put on me Built this house of cards, my pedestal, and I'm standing on, here I can't stand this anymore I'm running again, all the thoughts in my head I feel overwhelmed. I forgot who I am I'm looking around and nobody's there So many people but I don't know them I'm stuck here again, all the thoughts in my head I'm walking away but I'm still coming back I've been here before; I know how to fit in I'm closing my eyes hoping none of this's real So please, please, forget what I said I'm standing here, in fear, no longer myself Other's hopes and beliefs, which were put on me Built this house of cards, my pedestal, and I'm standing on, here I can't look into the eyes of those who believe in me What if in these eyes is hidden something I'm afraid to see What if these dear eyes are full of utterly regrets Of fully disappointment, 'cause I failed my promises My biggest fear is failing those who trust in me the most What if I fail the expectations will I lose their love My mind is full of doubts but one thought can't stop chasing me Stop let the expectations define who you're meant to be So please, please, forget what I said I'm standing here, in fear, no longer myself Other's hopes and beliefs, which were put on me Built this house of cards, my pedestal, and I'm standing on, here