Shrödinger's Frank - Part One

Christ, he's dead! He can't be dead Well he ain't fucking moving See his head? I just saw red I think that's blood Check his pulse You check his pulse I am not a flaming medic Things he said Look don't you geddit? That was one almighty thud That is definitely blood That's my boss You've killed my boss You might as well just string me up and nail me to the cross I swear to God My life is seriously cursed And it's all about you again Believe it? Could this night get any worse? What a pair of bloody stupid men I mean it Could this night get any worse? Just count to ten and let me think! I need a drink! Unzip his flies What? And get his wanger out No way! Then piss on him Unzip your flies, Jase No time to hang about Just do it Piss on him Christsakes, Tan You made your point! Don't have to go all weirdo pervy Nice, Jase, thanks But you've missed the pissing point Sometimes you really don't deserve me We are painting a picture In which a sad old git After a night out on the lash Who probably has trouble with his prostate Makes an emergency pitstop For an unexpected slash And then bang crash bollocks Now he's prostrate Too much bevy When you're that top heavy Well these accidents inevitably happen And that's exactly how this will appear You and me We're in the clear So Jason cut the crap Piss in his lap And get the f*ck right out of here The loyal and loving footballer's wife Has to think on her feet To clear up the mess of her footballer's life And ensure he comes up smelling sweet The loyal and loving footballer's wife (You know this might turn out okay?) Is one step ahead of the game (Cos with Frank out of the way) What's done is done (It's cut and dried) Spin must be spun (I'm back on side) If the outcome is one and the same (Well what a turn up this is) Then what good is taking the blame? (Thanks to my brilliant Missis) When such is the fortune and fame (Turner is still in the game) Living a footballer's life You should be a manager I'll be his wife