Hufflepuffs Make Better Lovers

Ravenclaw found intelligence most difficult to resist Gryffindor cared less for brains and more for balls Slytherin was a blood purity fetishist And Helga Hufflepuff, she took them all Ohhhhhhhhh Hufflepuffs make better lovers We are loyal to our partners through and through Agreeable to change, accommodating to the strange So giving and so easily amused Once I loved a Gryffindor and they were mighty bold And seemed so self-assured but had a sadness in their soul They waved at me while they were high from sniffin' potion fumes They forgot they were flyin' and they fell right off their broom Oh Hufflepuffs make better lovers We never take unnecessary risks And sure we like our herbologic remedies But we take precaution when we get our kicks Once I loved a Slytherin but she was mighty cold And oh-so-moralistic, reputation to uphold When she realized I jeopardized her rigid family life She left me to live boringly in the pureblood wizard right Oh Hufflepuffs make better lovers We won't judge you by your rank or wealth We're stickin' with no matter if the others don't approve So just sit back, relax, because we've got nothing to prove Once I loved a Ravenclaw and swore she felt the same But wasn't wise enough to navigate her mind game's maze We flirted and we skirted round, but it became too late It turned out I was learning at a much much slower rate Oh Hufflepuffs make better lovers We don't give a damn how you did on your N.E.W.T.s There are bigger things that matter in the grand old greater scheme Like friendship and acceptance and the happiness it brings One day I'll meet a Hufflepuff who's just as sweet as me She'll make me pumpkin pasties while I pour her earl gray tea I've had my fun and now I'm done with witches who just take I'll find my better finder, and I hope that she can bake Oh Hufflepuffs make better lovers And we don't care if you slowly get fat We live next to the kitchens, so best loosen up your britches Or take them off if you are into that Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Hufflepuffs make better lovers We are loyal to our partners through and through Agreeable to change, accommodating to the strange So giving and so easily amused