manipulator

Slamming the door to my car I don't even know what we are anymore Maliciously toying with your heart You're not bleeding out but I know it will scar Our friends don't know what side to take Wish it were you but I'm the one to blame Back and forth, was almost yours I only make things hard What made me think it was okay? Swore I'd never hurt you Funny how the cards work Tired of the bullshit, tired of myself Why reach for your hand when I don't want mine to be held? I don't know what I'm thinking, but i'm not a victim I'm a manipulator Why am I still crying? Why am I confused? I feel like I am dying, what has this done to you? My heart is feeling heavy, conscience feeling guilty I could be your bitter daydream I said I want you, I wish i did I was lonely, high off the thrill of it Aim for the kill of it Starting to believe I'm going crazy I'm not looking for anyone to save me Maybe I could change the way I operate? I just don't want you thinking that you need to change for me, I think that I need, time to figure things out loud, now Tired of the bullshit, tired of myself Why reach for your hand when I don't want mine to be held? I don't know what I'm thinking, but i'm not a victim I'm a manipulator Why am I still crying? Why am I confused? I feel like I am dying, what has this done to you? My heart is feeling heavy, conscience feeling guilty I could be your bitter daydream Dragged you through hell and right back What made me think I could go and do that? I'm a manipulator, love can manipulate you Dragged you through hell and right back (tired of myself, why reach for your hand when i don't want mine to be held) What made me think I could go and do that? I'm a manipulator, love can manipulate you Constant state of Slamming the door to my car I don't even know what we are anymore