Elf

I don’t wanna lot for Christmas I got everything I need I don’t even need these bagels Or the christmas tree That I stole from the park next door I don’t wanna go to parties Small talk with stranger Another glass of bubbly Another plasticine manger Do you think Dave would notice If I took the plasticine And made it into something quite obscene? I just wanna be the elf on the shelf In the hat and the scarf and the socks What’s the matter with that? And the cat doesn’t know That I’m hiding in the snow He’s gonna get a fright! Stay tuned for tonight It’s two days til Christmas I’ve not got my boyfriend anything I might just turn up at his house Wearing absolutely nothing But his mum might answer the door! I quite like my boyfriend It’s only been five weeks I dunno if he loves me But I know he likes His face in my double D’s! I just wanna be the elf on the shelf In the hat and the scarf and the socks What’s the matter with that? And the cat doesn’t know That I’m hiding in the snow He’s gonna get a fright! Stay tuned for tonight I just wanna be the elf who knows Where to go to find the snow Drag my boyfriend, here we go On our way to Santa’s grotto! I just wanna be the elf on the shelf In the hat and the scarf and the socks What’s the matter with that? And the cat doesn’t know That I’m hiding in the snow He’s gonna get a fright! Stay tuned for tonight I just wanna be the elf on the shelf I’m never gonna quit What if Christmas is shit? My boyfriend doesn’t care I’m full of Christmas cheer I think I need another beer! I just wanna be the elf on the shelf Hat and scarf Scarf and the socks Socks and a beer Full of Christmas cheer