When I'm Alone

How do we hurt yet just act okay All life does is throw pain our way We fight to survive how could they just say Smile and save your tears for another day There's no way to erase my wrongs The pain plays the strings while I sing these songs Lies are the secrets to staying strong It means you were used to it all along And I hate that my heart breaks when I realize That I won't escape these chains Behind the smiles and laughs is the real truth I've been crying alone in vain Travel back in time to the times when life felt okay Now all I do is search for a reason to be hurt I wish I understood myself Cuz all I do is cry for help I can't breathe I can't sleep When will the pain set me free Will there ever be an end To this suffering and regret I hope it leaves I hope it bleeds But it proceeds to make me see That when I'm alone Pain makes me feel at home Staring at the stars trying to find my truth Hoping that they'll give me the slightest clue About why my dreams never have come true The guilt never leaves once its taken you When will we solve the mystery Of why life is a broken reality Close your eyes and try to believe You can fight your demons even when you're weak And I hate that my heart breaks when I realize That I won't escape these chains Behind the smiles and laughs is the real truth I've been crying alone in vain Travel back in time to the times when life felt okay Now all I do is search for a reason to be hurt I wish I understood myself Cuz all I do is cry for help I can't breathe I can't sleep When will the pain set me free Will there ever be an end To this suffering and regret I hope it leaves I hope it bleeds But it proceeds to make me see That when I'm alone Pain makes me feel at home I'm underwater and I'm struggling to see the light It's cold and dark and I don't think I'm gonna win this fight I'm standing here with the utmost fear hoping sanity is in sight Maybe if I wait won't be too late and my truth will feel right I wish I understood myself Cuz all I do is cry for help I can't breathe I can't sleep When will the pain set me free Will there ever be an end To this suffering and regret I hope it leaves I hope it bleeds But it proceeds to make me see That when I'm alone Pain makes me feel at home