Say it aint so

I get a call that you ain't coming back my worse fear was confirmed my family on back asking bout you Idk but I suffer in silence my problems will never surface what I tell myself knowing they will it's on my face And I wept for many days plus it's been raining for some weeks You know a mama know her son well still I deflect it Defense mechanism I'm sorry that's my protection I swear I felt the lord grab my shoulder When I was dying in my darkest hour everyone was leaving out my life And still my best friend across the world reaching out for Christ Her stories were so inspiring I'm staring at my phone Waiting just see her The stars out side my window was the closest I could be with you Come back to reality That call that I mentioned earlier she was bad for me You know where this heading I know you gone be mad at me Where did you go You don't love me no more Yeah Say it ain't so Feelings in denial nightmares every night about it I'm losing trust in the way I should feel about people I meet And the trauma I shared start to regret that I shared anything 3 whole years suddenly thrown out my window I should've seen it coming I blame myself did you forget that Men lie and women lie memories start burn in my head But everywhere I look I see her smile Then I remember that she was meant for me When god sent this angel that I prayed for when I lost my wings Marriage was the plan but then she sabotaged our wedding dreams I'm still in denial I'm telling her that's selfish but I'm just preaching to the choir I've always been honest ironic how you met someone with the name honest I'm fighting for you and I But all you say is that you fighting for yourself Where did you go you don't love me no more