lost soul overthinking

Time will show won't it? But time will show won't it? I'm still struggling with finding love and I don't know if I will- Mhm I take it raw, one, two One take I wish that it was easy to express the way feel 'Cause I don't want to live a lonely life and be concealed And I know that type of lifestyle will never be ideal But what the f*ck i'm 'posed to do when I will never be unsealed But time will show, won't it? I'm still struggling with finding love And I don't know if I will do in 2021 'Cause everytime I seem to like someone and want to ask I always overthink and never do it, never fast Blame it on my stupid ass and cry about it in my bed Talking with that crush I have, but never seem to take a step All my life has been like this, but will it ever change? Still the same old loser with the same old ways Must say i'm strange, give myself a challenge But I never seem to manage, 'cause I always find a shortcut Tend to run away instead of risking luck Life's a bitch when I never seem to give a f*ck Life's a bitch when I never seem to give a f*ck Yeah Overthinking is a normal habit I have made I fucking it hate it, but it's been with me since I was eight With my legos and playmobiles, playing games Unsure about my moves and how I should've played And next year i'll turn 18, the clocks ticking I gotta' fix my shit and dunk it like i'm Scottie Pippen And tell the one I fell in love with that she got me thinking But what if she don't feel the same and tell me that i'm tripping Yeah i've done this shit before, but shit ended badly 'Cause all the people that accept me end up acting nasty And stick a knife inside my heart like it's a damn finale Making me wear a fucking mask like I was fucking Sally That's how it ends sadly, that's how it always been But who knows what will happen in the end 'Cause everything tends to change in this world according to my friends Sorry, i'm just overthinking bad again F*ck Go, go, go No Please? What am I supposed to say? I don't know, just something that comes from the heart Don- Don't say f*ck you Don are you recording me now? I know! You're supposed to say something nice No, I don't want to Why? Should I write another verse? To be honest, think i'm losing it Scared of people leaving in an instant with no sign of it F*ck, that's a bad rhyme, shit, let me scrap it And then throw it in my trash can and never look back at it What's happening, sun shining and i'm sitting inside Making songs that'll make my mom and dad be terrfied of my mental Breathing in and out while at the dental Almost start to panic when they say they lack parental check up 'Cause i'm the only one showing up to the damn appointments They be checking out for days though I find it pointless 'Cause I don't find it easy anymore to start a convo They call me social, but i'm only social when they follow On my phone playing games I never ever play Fiddling with everything around me tryna find a way To leave my depressive state And stop thinking over and over again without connecting my paper and pen I remember back in 2020, met this chick and i fell in love Then we started snapping and talking about the days to come I started to feel some shit i've never ever felt before Knew I had to ask her, but i'm such a bore What if she don't like me like I like her and then sees me as a friend And nothing more than just another stupid fucker tryna blend With all the others on her phone, that are desperate like myself Trying to get her in my life, but i need some fucking help 'Cause I can't tell her what I feel, just in case she do not like me Or feel the same way and do not want to be my wifey in the future Jesus fucking christ i'm such a loser She a ten and i'm a zero, we can never be together And this pain will last forever, what the f*ck i'm 'posed to do? I'm just a stupid fucking sellout, never going out my room So instead of being forward and asking her wanna date She my friend and I don't think that she will ever wanna date F*ck No Please? Why are you recording me now? *laughs* Please say something No, cause you're recording, I won't tell you I know Stop Go, go ,go No Please? What am I supposed to say? I don't know, just something that comes from the heart Don- Don't say f*ck you Don are you recording me now? I know! You're supposed to say something nice No, I don't want to (Feel) Why? I don't want to You don't want to? No Why? It goes like mhm, I don't know Do it again, do it again Ah, f*ck! Hold on, hold on