Call Me Dwayne Johnson 'Cause I Just Hit Rock-Bottom

I've been living in a past tense Hoping that this makes sense 'Cause I keep dreaming of my own death And I've been waking up in cold sweat Bathing in my regret It's like theres a hitman inside my head I've been laying on the street side Letting the cars go by Like I'm tempting fate if it is my time And If i wanted to be lied to I would have just asked you But clearly that's not what I had in mind And I know that I'm still young But I haven't accomplished much I'm 19 and already I lost my touch So I'm still alive, but it's in fear and it's in spite I've stood my ground the best I could in a losing fight You've been calling me since last week Wondering if I'm sad or happy But I think that i'm somewhere in between And I've been eating all my meals again But making lists of my friends That I'd like to haunt if my life were to end I've been stumbling around Every road of this town Just to find me a sign Or a small sense of closure But all that I got Was I lost of my faults Mental maps of the streets And some feet that got tired Keep thinking about Every one of my doubts How I promised the world But the world got too heavy Now I can't move on 'Cause the weight of this all And my body still torn And this bottle's still empty