Epilogus

This brings us to the end of our journey Let this serve as an epilogue for the crises we've ventured thus far Rather than a eulogy, putting them, and I, to rest Traditionally, this would be the time for me to tie any loose ends But I'm so tightly strung, and I've already reached my wit's end I'm landing feet first in a back dive Evading being alive Walking a tight line Seeking out a sign It'll be fine Sometime When will the outcome be worth the plight? How can I succeed in a state of constant fight or flight? Where could I be if only for separate choices? Would I be free, not succumbing to the voices? It's a mystery, eternally Past, present, and to come (mmm) I've altered my memory To save me from someone unlike me I don't wish to see what life could be Just give me control, teach me how to breathe Relinquish me from the grasp I have on me 'Lest I breathe my last gasp, and never see My child's smile; a clean health file Finances green; natural dopamine I dream, true, but don't want for much Some health, some wealth. Am I out of touch? To think life could be greater than A splintered spoon and book ban? God forbid the children learn Truths that were, are, and will be God forbid the people yearn For fulfillment intellectually How can anyone be happy without first knowing the opposite? If this is fact, then my happiness must be imminent Perhaps sometime in the future, when I dive into a pool I will dive in gracefully head first Not backwards, upside-down (Feet on the ground Looking to the sky Wishing I could die) Looking like a fool.