Failed Finale

Four counts to inhale Seven counts out Trying to regulate Breath I long to be without Hyperventilate A silent shout Getting through this Doesn't mean winning the bout Without warning, I'm twenty-three again Living by train tracks, debating a leap Scared to speak upon it, only to hear"it's not that deep Go get some sleep" Ahh, ahh Ahh, ahh Heavy beating chest Beet-red eyes Told I'm exaggerating I'm not yet wise Heavily medicated Numb as rock Waiting to unravel, and Watching the clock (tik tok, tik tok) Without warning, I'm seventeen again Head underwater; praying to drown If God could flood His beloved world, why not take me now? I want to die, but I don't want to hurt Ahh, ahh Ahh, ahh How many failed finales, does it take to end the show? More fearful than life itself is all I don't know And all that I'm craving is a blackout that's for good My one true north star; my experienced girlhood.