Lord Knows

Okay who's your favorite h-hero? My favorite hero is my dad Isn't that wonderful Yeah Twenty ten were some of my worst days I was lookin for somebody's love When you need it bad but don't see it in the home That's a mission that somebody does Because it feels right I know I'm not the only one Because I know I'm not the only son I know I'm not the only one Who lost a father before they became a product of a trap I've been more than once But anyway Back to 2010, I started learning from too many friends Cheap thrills make you high, make you low Make you cool, make you numb Anything to make you feel again I wanted bad a love that I never had that I should've known from the gate I would've known if you were around I know my dad would've told me not to rush, but he didn't so I couldn't wait Instead I start fooling around Now I'm vexed with symphonies from my exes Lost and perplexed, epiphanies from the next Folly in my step, heavy hearted in regret Trying to fill a void with cheap sex Instead of deep breaths I decompress with a few things, a few things that nobody knows I've been struggling with mood swings, I do things that should be exposed I send a text to my boo thang and tell her I don't want to be alone I don't want to be alone She know how to pull a few strings that make a lost child feel home What song The song that we had before This is my dad right here, taking a picture Um, um m-my brother wants to talk You're on Kaylup I was eight years old when you passed, now it's 2018 Fast forward five years from the past and I still do the same thing I'm still the same lost child from before Different strokes in a new form I'm still trapped here in this cold world trying to find a way to keep warm Double shots get slurry in my coke Troubled thoughts get blurry when I smoke I might cope until I can't see the weeds Fake high until I'm down on my knees I learned the worst bad habits in my teens I never thought I would identify with a fiend I pray to God that somebody intervenes Before I fill the void by any means I don't doubt it I know my vision is clouded I never think about it I'm probably better without it But I'm holding onto it like a lover holds a seat Telling all my lost dreams to my lover overseas Because I know she understands me I know she feel the vibe She satisfy a young crave like candy She only come around when I get paid But she help me through the day so I treat her like family I'm focused on the wrong things Life had purpose and magic, but now it's like a bad dream I've been feeling like it passed me up Lord Knows that I've had enough God bring me home