I Hate January

It's too late There's much too much for both of us to say We never do it justice anyway Well, how do you know when to walk away? So we remain Look My next door took his life and left a letter for his family I felt like Eminem and Stanley Every day we wake, face pigs, rats and snakes Bro I guess he couldn't take anymore of the Jumanji I think about Nas and I get angry Bro died two weeks before his eighteenth birthday That's why I hate January I had to stand over him to make him understand me I was rollin' with the nine, that was on top of the hash key Mum kicked me out, I stayed at Ashleigh's She got two kids now and when I have mine, she'll be an auntie I'm not a villain, I'm a vigilante I put on for the trenches from the trenches, think they'd thank me I felt when Chy said the bar 'bout basmati, canned beef She cooked it with the white rice, we ate that every damn week I sent my niggas money for their canteen You wanna hear the maddest part? I ain't had no money for my canteen I was in the North East, cellmate a Geordie Made Screwface smile when I bought him the forty Free Thirty like the time when you pick up the children He'll tell you, we kept shanks in our pocket like door keys Last time he saw me was when Muni wet that yute up on the threes "If I was you, I woulda", yeah, yeah but bro you wasn't me Why's he looking at me funny? He must think he doesn't bleed Why they asking me for P's? They must think it comes with ease My boy died a few days in, that's why I hate New Years Boys don't cry but that made me shed a few tears Couldn't let M see, I waited 'til he went sleep I wrote this when I was in a cell feeling empty Left packs with Bentley, now Muni need a Maybach I'ma be like thirty suttin when we get Dange back Payback, I don't care how much it costs Winnin' don't feel the same, it matters how much you lost My next door was hanging from a rope, his friends screamed for help They found a letter to his family when they emptied his cell Not everybody makes it out but I can't lie, I have to Even when I needed help, I still wouldn't ask you Yo, streets turned a boy into a man quick You ain't been through it then you wouldn't understand it He said he's on the guys, bro I pulled up and slammed it I wish that my life went the way I woulda planned it I've fed more yutes than an orphanage I throw my clothes in the car and I'm torching it Yo that pump's worth five, I paid more for it I can tell he ain't really like that, he's forcing it I got bored of it, doing all that block time They're thinking I'm a rockstar, I still got a rock line I can't stop, I lick shots by the stop sign I got mine, we ain't pop stars boy, I pop mine It's too late There's much too much for both of us to say We never do it justice anyway Well, how do you know when to walk away?