Yard Sale Gangsta

It is early in the morning and I gotta get up And the house is a mess but I don't clean up I gotta get outside and get all set up I got a selling situation to develop yup Cash rules everything around me This is definitely the way it's gotta be For you and me and everybody in this country Where we do what we must just to make our money And the urgency for the currency Is concurrently reminding me to please hurry So the tarps go up and the ropes get tied And I put a sign out along curbside And with twelve more they will coincide And act as your weekend yard sale guide Because at my yard sale I'm trying to get paid I mean look at how well I have my stuff displayed And the cars drive by in a frickin parade Cuz I've been doing this for almost two decades At my yard sale I'm trying to get paid I got hand me downs or down things handmade And I will consider a barter or a trade And I usually hang a tarp so you can have some shade But if it's still super hot that day Then I will try to persuade for my kids to stop their play And come man a stand and try to get paid As they sell you a glass of ice cold lemonade I got a hoe and a rake and a shovel and a spade And the ugliest sweater that has ever been crocheted Or my ex's skirt that is made out of suede Or a vhs of the little mermaid I got everything that you could ever want Like a bunch of old crap from an old restaurant Or some new fly threads for you to try to flaunt Or some weird knick knack for you could give your aunt I got kid toys kid clothes and kid shoes And anything else that kids could ever use Like a dollhouse that is three foot tall With the furniture that's so itty bitty small And speaking of dolls here's a barbie dvd Or curious george or tom and jerry I got books and puzzles and games and more And for far less than what you would pay at the store I got a box of socks and a million mega blocks And a polisher of rocks and a couple cuckoo clocks And a brand new mailbox or a cd by the knox Or those popsicle makers for your icebox Got a coffee pot with some pots and pans Or that plastic thing that can crush pop cans Got a paintball gun with a hopper and a mask And a couple air tanks so you can ba ba ba ba blast Got a betta fish tank with all of the supplies All you need is the betta fish to go inside Got a kite you can glide or a bike you can ride Or a couple of things that are unidentified Got a weird variety of picture frames And a few candyland and clue board games Got a camera tripod and a hundred curtain rods So pull out your money please don't be a tightwad Because at my yard sale I'm trying to get paid I mean look at how well I have my stuff displayed And the cars pull up in a frickin parade Because I've been doing this now for two decades At my yard sale I'm trying to get paid I got hand me downs or down things and made And I will consider a barter or a trade And I usually hang a tarp so you can have shade So I got my lemonade and I'm sitting in the shade And I'm waiting for you so I can try to get paid And you're pulling up in your cadillac escalade And I'm smiling because I know there is a dollar to be made And with a friendly wave and a cheesy grin I say hello sir why don't you come on in To this divine yard sale of mine Is there anything specific I can help you find And he looks for a second to survey the scene In his eyes there is this twinkle and there is this gleam And his thirst for a deal starts to burn like kerosene It's the best yard sale that he has ever seen So he turns on back and he waves at the lac And seven kids all come piling out the back And they all make a run for the toy section In a minute of fun my display is all undone And the dad is unaware because he's looking at the tools That his kids are acting crazy yes they're acting like fools And the boys found all the nerf dart guns And they start blasting like sigourney in aliens And the mom's over digging through all the kid clothes Because for a buck a bag she can't let it go One girl has the princess dress on And the oldest boy is riding a bike across the lawn And they buy a bunch of stuff but they leave the place a mess And they give me some cash but they also give me stress Either way it doesn't matter that's the name of the game And as soon as they leave I'll set it all back up the same And thank you all for coming it has been my pleasure Cuz one man's trash is another man's treasure And I'll kiss your behind and act genuine To get the cash from your pocket into mine Yuuuuup To get the cash from your pocket into mine I will kiss you behind and act genuine To get the cash from your pocket into mine You know what I'm saying Yard Sale Gangsta I will kiss your behind and act genuine straight hustlin To get the cash from your pocket into mine I will kiss you behind and act genuine To get the cash from your pocket into mine I will kiss you behind and act genuine To get the cash from your pocket into mine To get the cash from your pocket into mine Cuz one man's trash is another man's treasure To get the cash from your pocket into mine Cuz cash rules everything around me To get the cash from your pocket into mine Cuz at my yard sale Cuz at my yard sale Cuz at my yard sale I'm trying to get paid