Actually Tears

I don't ever show the pain I be cappin when they ask me if I'm Straight But inside I really ain't See I gotta be strong even though I'm Bout to Break Naw don't mind what ya seeing on My face Although I might just tell you that it's Not what it Appears But these are actually tears Searching for the words Cause I just don't know what to say Still can't believe you gone Although it's been a couple days I'm in and out wit emotion Almost broke down today I'm struggling Cause this right here a different type Of pain I miss the days when we was kids We Was Always together And no matter our differences We be there for each other Hooping in different hoods Whoever guarding is suffered We was taking ankles on the daily Just me and my brother I can't believe that this happen I'm Still in shock You was doing so much better And just got coo wit ya pops You was always hard working Just tryna get off the block Was pose to see success together This wasn't part of the plot My potna in crime Until the end My brother My best friend How I'm pose to move on wit this Pain And tell my son he'll never see you Again I don't ever show the pain I be cappin when they ask me if I'm Straight But inside I really ain't See I gotta be strong even though I'm Bout to Break Naw don't mind what ya seeing on My face Although I might just tell you that it's Not what it Appears But these are actually tears My and my sister really going Through it My sister birthday coming up Don't know if she can do it It really wasn't that long ago When we helped her with moving I know she know you love her And don't want her day to be ruined Naw And I know you and ya mama Had ya differences But she love you more than life It's just so hard to deal wit this She know you loved her too And she strong even though she Feeling it I thank God he let her her give me The best Friend I ever kicked it wit I know that internally you was Always fighting Peace was something that you had a Hard Time Finding I know you gone and I hate it Don't like it But now yo beautiful soul in a better Place Shining I'm hurting inside But I guess I gotta put on this facade You was always searching So I guess the day I lost you Is when you found God I don't ever show the pain I be cappin when they ask me if I'm Straight But inside I really ain't See I gotta be strong even though I'm Bout to Break Naw don't mind what ya seeing on My face Although I might just tell you that it's Not what it Appears But these are actually tears