Drowning

I depended on you when I was low, it only made me lower Ironic my lowest times seem to come at me when I'm sober On the floor, usually where I'd end my night Thought a little dose of you nightly would have me feeling right, I was wrong Feel outta place every time I realize the feelings gone, been harder for me to stay strong Can't help but cry when I'm alone In your presence I'm protected by the feeling perhaps, my pops had a thing for you too guess I'm a victim of that In fact we even shared you a couple times, but when the feelings back he say I dare you to touch what's mine It got me thinking, are you really my true love or do you slowly have me sinking In regret, vision blurry make it hard to watch my step So I turn to my peers, what I found left me in fear Cuz I look around and ain't surprised it ain't nobody here Maybe that's the reason that I turned to you Probably jump off the bridge if there was one, but I burned a few and learned a few Things about myself along the way, like I seem to be content when you visit me through the day Or how I got so much to say but you help me express it They tell me every time I'm with you I'm blocking my blessings, but I don't ever listen Weight of the world on my shoulders, struggling trynna find closure Never liked advice, clearly ain't change in me when I got older Maybe I was lacking guidance, found a better solution than blocking feelings and hiding But was it worth it? future ain't bright from here lately struggling to find my purpose Was supposed to make me feel better than this, I'm feeling worthless Used to elevate me, now I fail to reach the surface Used to be the one I'd run to for escape each time I'm hurting, weak how I'm sounding Well aware that my time been running out my heart is pounding Wonder if I'll find someone to help me save from drowning