in my head

Oh, it's not like you're the first But everything beautiful like you is cursed She forgot, and he moved on I had to go but I'm never truly gone New fears grew, anxiety With the blossom of a lack of intimacy When I can't show vulnerability How can I expect anyone to truly love me It's not like I can stop Whenever I want to, I'm always stuck on you It's not worth it to hurt Over something that's nothing, in knots like a drawstring I'm gone and undone Why am I so hopeless, one thing never changes It's me, constantly Writing love songs in my head that you'll never get to see Now I ache here I stumble This new love is so fickle that it crumbles Under my weight And my mind And the other insecurities I haven't thought to try yet And it burns in my soul When I don't or can't know When to stop or be cold Or begin to quit hurting, on fire, i'm burning It's not like I can stop Whenever I want to, I'm always stuck on you It's not worth it to hurt Over something that's nothing, in knots like a drawstring I'm gone and undone Why am I so hopeless, one thing never changes It's me, constantly Writing love songs in my head that you'll never get to see Can I even call it love When it really feels like pain The delusion that you'd want any more than what you're getting Is like pinches of salt Like it's nothing at all I could want you, I could fix you Am I anything when you're gone It's not like I can stop Whenever I want to, I'm always stuck on you It's not worth it to hurt Over something that's nothing, in knots like a drawstring I'm gone and undone Why am I so hopeless, one thing never changes It's me, constantly Writing love songs in my head that you'll never get to see